What is Monkey Mind and what is the secret to evicting them?
Have you ever noticed every time you decided you are going to start to change your habits how much chatter starts up in your head and most of the time it is not very flattering and a lot of the time it is downright critical?
This is what is known as the Monkey Mind. That ceaseless chatter that tells you why you are: not good enough, clever enough, tall enough, skinny enough or whatever “Not Enough” they vigilantly present.
I call these the “Crules!”
Funny word but devastating consequences. Crules are the “Critical Rules from the voices of the Committee of They.” They are those insidious voices that clamour to get their opinion across when you move out of a space called “Certainty”. After all we have been told often enough by these voices that they are certain we are “Not Enough!”
Have any of you ever heard that Critical Parent inside, telling you why you can’t have, do, be something? I don’t know about you but I had a doosey. My Inner Critical Mother would start up in my head every time I decided I was going to pull myself out of my miserable comfort zone and start to make a difference in my life.
Man, this woman was fierce – she had a memory like an elephant and would bring up past incidences as to why I had failed and cuttingly posed the question what was possibly wrong with my head that I thought I could succeed this time.
Phew! I actually became exhausted from the fight and in the end, gave in and stayed small.
Until one day a magical thing happened, I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
There had to be another way to get past all this chatter, all these monkeys that patrolled my mind ready to put me back in my place. Ready to create chemicals of despair each time I failed.
As a little aside – did you know you actually become addicted to those chemicals? Yes indeed you can but I will share with you the “Poisonous Apple” concept another time.
Okay back to the Monkey Mind. Each time that chatter starts up, it runs along a well-worn pathway in your brain called a neural pathway. It’s just like a groove in a record. You will know what I am talking about if you are old enough to know what vinyl was and more annoyingly what happened when the record got a scratch. The scratch caused it to play the same line or word over and over again. The only way to move on was to give the needle arm a little shove. Well that is exactly the same thing has to happen with monkey mind!
In the mind the greatest monkey of them all is FEAR. Fear wants you to stay safe in your corner of the jungle, stuck in the groove known as “Certainty.” Let’s face it, if you never step out into the limelight no one can ever, ever cut you down. But who wants to sit around in the dark for the rest of their life?
So, would you like to know the great big secret about how to sneak out of the jungle and never disturbing those monkeys again?
You do! Of course you do! Who the heck wants to be stuck in a jungle forever?
Well the answer is a little-known secret. The secret is that it is just a little bump in your thinking! Most people want to get away from the monkeys so they do a million things to distract themselves in the hope of ceasing the chatter. Things like procrastinating, substance abuse of any kind, control, all in the futile attempt to quieten the monkeys. All that is doing is giving them more ammunition to throw at you. If you have ever been near the monkeys’ enclosure at a zoo you will know exactly what I am talking about! Monkeys, choose the most disgusting thing to throw at you! No this is definitely not the answer to the secret.
The secret is that monkeys are a vital messengers. They are actually delivering a very important message to you. They are showing you what intrinsic emotional needs haven’t been met and here is the clincher, learning to meet those emotional needs yourself is the way out of the jungle!
I know many of you are saying “What are you taking about, intrinsic emotional needs? Never heard of them.”
That is because unfortunately, we are taught from a very early age that “Doing” is the way forward in life. You think if you just keep doing that eventually you will come out at the edge of the jungle. In fact, we have become worshipers of doing. We are told it is our ticket into acceptance from society.
NO!!! Doing is not the answer!
That is the pack horse mentality! Haven’t you noticed the more you do, the more you have to do because people forget to tell you how wonderful your doing is and then you have to do more in the attempt to get someone to notice. Sadly, that is the recipe for disengagement because just one day all that doing is going to burn you out!
The answer is when you STOP the frantic doing and start choosing to meet those needs yourself rather than expecting the outside world to validate you through endlessly doing. Then you will become the King of the Jungle and everyone knows that monkeys scatter when they hear the lion roar.
So, what is an intrinsic emotional need? Humans are actually born with these and every person has their own set of them. Even if people have the same need they will need to express it in a different way. Intrinsic emotional needs are as unique as you are! Did you know that everything you do is an attempt to fulfill these needs? This is what fulfillment is all about. When you do something, it is not the doing that creates fulfillment, it is feeling you get and that feeling creates chemicals which supports an emotional need. This very thing is the secret to engagement and the foundation of Emotional Intelligence.
Your top need may be acceptance, or recognition or achievement or a combination of all three. The list of these emotional needs is mind-blowing. But you know the easiest way is to listen to your Monkey Mind telling you what you can’t have? Behind all that noise is the very emotional need that is waiting for you to recognize it.
Wow! who would have guessed!
Now that is a paradigm shift, because as children we were brought up to, monkey see, monkey do – work hard and maybe you will arrive at fulfillment! How’s that for conditioning.
If you want to get a” how to do this” just email me your details and I will race it to the jungle via the magic of the internet