Well it’s the 2nd week in January and already those resolutions are starting to fade as the reality of life catches up with us and our best laid plans are put aside as we enter the hamster wheel of same old, same old. Back to work, back to business, back to ordinary life and the glitter of New Year’s Eve seems a distant past.
Darn, this time we were really, really, going to do it. We were going to give up those cigarettes, get fit, eat healthy, get a new job, commit to a relationship. leave a relationship. but here we are and somehow those old habits are infiltrating our resolve and eroding away our persistence.
Then it starts – the berating, the little self-flagellations, the pity party, the blame game, the I can’t help it that’s just the way I am story. And once again we give up because it is all just too hard. It’s like our foot is nailed to the floor and we just keep going around and around convinced we are getting somewhere but somehow, we always end up in the same place again. Talk about frustrating!
Well I call this process the Sprules – Sprules what sort of crazy language is that – Sprules are one of the rules that govern disengagement. They are our Sabotaging Pattern Rules or better known as habitual negative behaviour but personally I like the word, Sprules.
So, what about you take that list of resolutions, screw them up and use them for a game of office basketball with aim to get a goal by binning them.
Let’s make a stand. Let’s start a revolution! Let’s stamp out resolutions!
It’s time, time for a new way, time for creating a life of choice.
It’s time we pulled back from all the pressure of achieving what has become the impossible in our mind and look at it with new eyes.
What is that you truly want? That is the question that starts an amazing process of gaining clarity. Let’s say you want to give up smoking and you are frustrated because you have tried so many times before. Well think about it, is that what you really want– giving up smoking? Or is it, if you gave up smoking your life would be different in some way – you may feel fitter, food may taste better, maybe you want to feel free from being in bondage to a habit. It could be heaps of the things but what you are doing is concentrating on giving up smoking – now that is not very motivating because you brain has now gone into lack and fear of not having the cigarette.
Time for a Revolution – never concentrate on what you’re walking away from, concentrate on being the new reality you are walking in to.
Here are a few questions that you can apply to any area of your life whether it be a personal change, relationships, career or your own business the process is always the same
Put down what you feel you want – for e.g. Give up smoking, get a new job, get seen at work so you get promoted, feel more engaged with your work. Whatever is on your mind or on that scrunched up resolution list.
Now ask yourself these questions:
- Why do I want this?
- How will I feel when I have this?
- What need will it meet when I achieve this?
– super important question and may take some pondering
- What will I experience after I achieved this?
- Who will I be because I achieved this?
Now I will bet my bottom dollar by the time you get to the end of these questions you will see that giving up smoking is not really what you want – it is the experience of being a nonsmoker that you crave. This is the secret to our creative revolution. It is about getting clear as to who you will BE whether it is as a non smoker, in a new position at work, creating deeper relationships, it is all the same – you have to act like you are already there – this is where your focus is.
From this you can create a HUGE Vision, create a vision board, fall in love with who you will BE and from this you create the HOW.
The “How” is more commonly known as your Mission statement, this is the engine room of bringing your vision into reality. Your how is so much simpler than people think. It is a peculiarity of humans that they want to complicate things by setting huge goals with unrealistic time frames. Then they waste so much energy stressing on how they can achieve them.
It’s time for another Revolutionary idea, ditch all the action that is causing you stress and start to operate from the answer to your last question – “Who will I be when I have achieved this?” Because the answer to this last question shows you what you value – and when you action a value to meet a need – that answer is in crucial question number 3, you create character. Did you know this is the foundation of Emotional Intelligence? And when you approach creating your life in this manner you are coming from a point of power. The power to choose who you will be through an activity, choosing how you will feel through the activity and choosing how you will feel at the end of the activity despite the outcome. Now you have a Revolution going on and those boring, defeating repetitive resolutions will be a thing of the past.
Love to hear your success stories about your own personal thinking revolution.